The Siege (rev 2)

[Emz]

"The Siege"

Right-angled hydrangeas 
blind the window-frame (added hyphen, different line lengths and closed gap between 1st and 2nd stanza) 
to the bitter rotten clot of light

[over wrought iron chairs 
perched like insects 
beneath constellations
of coffee stains
while the red eyed frenzy
of the night fast

implodes
in steam and speed:
beleaguered

soldiers boiling
oil for the castle walls.] (Different line breaks and line lengths)

Hi there Apache,

I quite like what you're shooting for here. I have a couple of small suggestions above.

My only complaint would be, because of my own ignorance I guess, I had to stop to look up two words (hydrangeas and beleaguered) which is quite distracting. I'm not afraid to admit that I am probably not as educated as most of the poets here (something that I am working on). I only pointed this out because it's something to consider whether or not you wish to make the language more accessible. I could argue both ways, since poetry is meant to be, well, poetic. But there's a small trade-off to be made when deciding what audience you're writing for. I wonder what others think about this? 

Emma