The Gift Of The Empty Hand (edit #3)

[ellajam]

Hello ellajam,

What I like about this is that it is a uniquely positive take on loss.  What I find a bit confusing is the reference to the person in the poem who left without his things.  From what I gather a storm event involving the ocean took the contents of the closet.  Was the man taken during this event or afterward?  Or was it during and his spirit came to comfort you over the loss of things?  What about the loss of him?  I really like how you listed contents of the closet and created the take that now the narrator's arms are empty for holding...but I am a little confused by the man being gone.  Perhaps these questions could be answered in the poem?  I can see by the revisions that it has been evolving.

Hi, Casey, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. You are at least the second or third to be confused by this and I have neglected to clarify through any of the edits. I will have to think seriously about it, my aim is to have confidence in the reader without expecting them to read my mind and it seems I've failed.

I was counting on the eighty years added to the opening line to bring the reader to death, yanno, you can't take it with you. Then the spirit returns in comfort and wisdom when his stuff has to get trashed, helping us let go. Yes, this must be done in the poem. Thanks for giving me the challenge of thinking about whether or not I can do this better.

Your response is much appreciated.

Casey wrote:

I think it took me a bit to process...indeed the narrator's arms are full of empty...empty of things and the man in the poem. I had a delayed reaction. And I suppose it doesn't matter when the man was last (during or after the storm). Sorry I was a bit slow.

Nope, that's okay, it's good for me to see what doesn't come across clearly, you were not alone.