The Gift Of The Empty Hand (edit #3)

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey Ella. I like edit#2 best, so I'll comment on that. First off I like the more deliberate word choices: salvage/deluge/harbor/rescued all lead to the ocean. Keep them.

I'm not sure about the "annotated testaments" line. I liked "each with one article you couldn't trash." better. Just my taste. I liked "article".

Lastly, for now, where did "surge" come from? I preferred the ocean personified. It sounded much bigger without the surge. 

Paul

The Gift of the Empty Hand (edit #2)

You left without your things.

Eighty years of salvage shelved
beside Cayce, Twain and Eliot;
issues from the weekly deluge
of Archeology, New Yorker, Science
and annotated testaments
the rest of us would never read.
Closets harbor picnic baskets
and rescued vacuum cleaners;
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes;
photos of your youth, and ours.

When the ocean's surge took it all
your grin appeared and whispered:
They're just things.

My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today.

OR...

The Gift of the Empty Hand (edit #2.1)(Jacob)

You left without your things.

Eighty years of salvage shelved beside Cayce, Twain and Eliot; issues from the weekly deluge of Archeology, New Yorker, Science and annotated testaments the rest of us would never read. Closets harbor picnic baskets and rescued vacuum cleaners; Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes; photos of your youth, and ours.

When the ocean's surge took it all
your grin appeared and whispered:
They're just things.

My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today.

---

The Gift of the Empty Hand (edit #1)

You left without your things.

Eighty years of salvaged scraps sorted
and shelved alongside Twain, Cayce, Eliot;
illegible religious tomes and old issues
of Archeology, New Yorker and Science
each with one article you couldn't trash.
Closets stacked with antique picnic baskets
and almost working vacuum cleaners,
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes,
stacks of photos you caught and that caught you.

When the ocean took it all you came,
I heard your grinning voice:
"It's just stuff."
My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today.


The Gift of Loss (original)

You left without your things.

Eighty years of saving
sorted, labeled, ready for reuse.
Bookshelves crammed:
Twain, Cayce, Eliot,
religious tomes in languages
the rest of us couldn't read;
favorite issues from the weekly deluge
of magazines on every subject.
Closets stacked with picnic baskets
and fixable vacuum cleaners,
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes,
photos of you, us, them.

When the ocean took it all you came, grinning,
reminding me "They're just things."
My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today.