12-25-2015, 10:04 AM
The pulsing feet thing is unfortunate. Those are both really important sentiments for the poem and they are not supposed to be that directly connected. I'll have to think about this.
Would exchanging "within" for "therein" help?
I had thought the thing with stars was common knowledge, but it's explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Averted_vision
a question of etiquette - I'm new to this site so I'm still figuring out how this community works, it is generally considered useful to explain why you are going to discard people's suggestions, or should I just ignore what isn't useful? It seems like I often have solid artistic reasons for disagreeing with people that, if this was a real conversation, I would explain, but here I'm just worried that it'll sound defensive.
Would exchanging "within" for "therein" help?
I had thought the thing with stars was common knowledge, but it's explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Averted_vision
a question of etiquette - I'm new to this site so I'm still figuring out how this community works, it is generally considered useful to explain why you are going to discard people's suggestions, or should I just ignore what isn't useful? It seems like I often have solid artistic reasons for disagreeing with people that, if this was a real conversation, I would explain, but here I'm just worried that it'll sound defensive.