The Gift Of The Empty Hand (edit #3)

[billy]

it feels like a poem of strength more than a poem of loss, most of my remarks were niggles on a really good read. well done ella.

The Gift of the Empty Hand (edit #1) Gift stands out in the titles and starts the poem on a positive note.

You left without your things. ambiguity sets the reader up and readies them for discovery,

Eighty years of salvaged scraps sorted a suggestion would to lose the [d] of salvaged and [scraps] it just feels too much alliteration after a plain line
and shelved alongside Twain, Cayce, Eliot;
illegible religious tomes and old issues are they in a foreign language? show us why
of Archeology, New Yorker and Science
each with one article you couldn't trash.
Closets stacked with antique picnic baskets antique feels an odd choice of word would another word work better?
and almost working vacuum cleaners, i like the failure of this line, it does add to the almost working vacs
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes,
stacks of photos you caught and that caught you.

When the ocean took it all you came, over? round?
I heard your grinning voice: laughing, crying [something related to noise, ginning is related to sight]
"It's just stuff."
My arms are full of empty, my best line of the year.
free to hold today. excellent finish.


The Gift of Loss (original)

You left without your things.

Eighty years of saving
sorted, labeled, ready for reuse.
Bookshelves crammed:
Twain, Cayce, Eliot,
religious tomes in languages
the rest of us couldn't read;
favorite issues from the weekly deluge
of magazines on every subject.
Closets stacked with picnic baskets
and fixable vacuum cleaners,
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes,
photos of you, us, them.

When the ocean took it all you came, grinning,
reminding me "They're just things."
My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today.