Xmas Riddles, Jokes, Poems, Comments, etc.

[Achebe]

The Elves,they were in such a state.
"Christmas Eve and Santa is late?!"
"He's been drinking again!"
Rudolf said with disdain.
"I told him the children won't wait."

Santa burst in and said "Just relax!
When my arse hits that sled we're on track.
Don't worry because,
Well...just ask Missus Claus.
How fast I can empty my sack."

missus claus must be 2,000 years old.
does santa cheat on her?

---

what do you want, for christmas, santa?
what do you want for that wonderful night?
hookers are haunting the streets of atlanta
hardly turned eighteen,  go get you a wife
for mrs claus is 2,000 years old.

they denounce you a cheater, unspeakably vile,
on the Gold coast they say you're a paedophile
the order's to shoot reindeer on sight -
so find you a brothel on christmas night.
for mrs claus is 2,000 years old.