Signs

[shemthepenman]

hello,
well, i must say this is a really good first edit. you have managed to pare it down a lot. i think there are still some tweaks you could perform in order to make it even better.some quick thoughts.

Edit 1

In her palm she held fire
so bright; searing light on display
so all could see,
but none could touch. - great!

He, entranced by her energy,
tried to touch her incandescent flame.
In his hand he held water, - excellent!
not contained and unconstrained. - now, 'not contained' and 'unconstrained', while not strictly synonyms amount to saying the same thing, and their similarity in look and pronunciation compounds the problem. i would seriously consider a word change.

Curiously, she gave him her hand. - i am still not convinced 'curiously' is necessary.
Her brightness diminished(naturally). - firstly i would cut the (naturally). it feels very heavy handed. it feels like you not only don't trust the reader to get where you want them to go, but also don't trust yourself to be able to lead them there. abstraction creeping into description.
She grew like a star to supernova - oh, i like this but for one little thing. i would have it "she grew like a star, like a supernova, until she exploded". now that is a motherfucking kick arse line. god damn, son, you might inspire me to start writing poetry again!
until  finally, she exploded; - still, what's with the semicolon?

he, without form.
She, without form. - i don't personally like the he and she. but you know.



Original


In her palm she held Fire
in a form she controlled
so all could see, but none
could touch.

He, enamored by her energy
tried to touch but was burned.
In his hand held Water however,
so the burn was quick to cease.

Curiously, she gave him her hand.
He doused her brightness,
but she grew stronger in form.
Finally, she exploded;

He, without form.
She, without form.