Signs

[ellajam]

Hi, weeded, I see potential here, that whole avoiding abstraction thing is not the same as avoiding metaphor. This poem has me thinking, a good start. I've put some notes below.

Ok so I've been trying to avoid abstract, but its quite difficult for me. I'd imagine this is about as abstract as it gets so I guess what I'm really wondering is if there's even any potential here for something. Thanks.


In her palm she held Fire
in a form she controlled
so all could see, but none
could touch.

I'm not a fan of capitalizing Fire, I find it faux-poetic (my current favorite phrase ). I think you've already placed it well to give it the weight you want.
The first two lines set off a roll of images and ideas for me, so a fine opening.

He, enamored by her energy
tried to touch but was burned.
In his hand held Water however,
so the burn was quick to cease.

I'd put a comma after energy. I think you could find a more interesting way to say "tried to touch but was burned" but I'm still with you.
The next line troubles me, how did he get burned in the first place if his hand held water, (literally or metaphorically)? I think a tweak here would help.
I get the Fire/Water thing and believe I would in lower case. Let me know if I'm missing something.

Curiously, she gave him her hand.
He doused her brightness,
but she grew stronger in form.
Finally, she exploded;

Love the first line here and have no nits on the rest. If you want the semicolon here you could lower case the He below, which I think would add to the formlessness, and find a way to continue that through the last line.

He, without form.
She, without form.

So, I'm enjoying this, weaving through the words, thoughts, ideas having a grand old time. I hope my comments help.