12-13-2015, 07:30 PM
I'm still for switching "reality TV" and "murder mysteries" to get "murder" closer to that knife.
An ellipsis "murder mysteries..." could help connect the two as well.
And maybe change "dirty" which goes along with washing dishes,
to "sharp" which, at the least, makes one think of cutting.
From:
Our DVR is filled with banal
sitcoms, murder mysteries,
and reality TV.
When he leaves a dirty knife in the sink,
I smile and think.
To:
Our DVR is filled with
sitcoms, reality TV,
and murder mysteries...
When he leaves a sharp knife in the sink,
I smile and think.
An ellipsis "murder mysteries..." could help connect the two as well.
And maybe change "dirty" which goes along with washing dishes,
to "sharp" which, at the least, makes one think of cutting.
From:
Our DVR is filled with banal
sitcoms, murder mysteries,
and reality TV.
When he leaves a dirty knife in the sink,
I smile and think.
To:
Our DVR is filled with
sitcoms, reality TV,
and murder mysteries...
When he leaves a sharp knife in the sink,
I smile and think.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions