A slanted view

[Keith]

I especially loved:

"for I have traveled here and wanted more

than coins and smiles that pacify the poor,
in liquid times we drink and swallow pills
they keep my calibration at its core
and minimise reactions of free will
in liquid times we drink and swallow pills
they keep my calibration at its core
and minimise reactions of free will

Many thanks Ray, Much appreciated. Best Keith

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nicely done Kieth.

for me the octave doesn't go the eight lines and the turn/resolution/answer comes too soon on line 5 a get round suggestion would be to place the first verse after the third as it now stands. that aside loved the bugger.

Thanks For the help Billy I have took your suggestion, I think the final couplet needs some work but the changes make a big difference, Many thanks Keith