12-07-2015, 07:00 AM
Edit1
Unsought, some cue for anger jostles you -
A slight, an insult makes your temper flare.
You growl and grumble, wrathful as a bear,
And plot revenge: she’ll pay, he’ll bleed, I’ll sue!
That monologue begins: no time to spare
For rest or reason. Plans for sabotage
And murder swirl: a bomb, poisoned potage,
Slashed tires, keyed paint, a windshield cracked for fair!
And then, amid this inner persiflage
Of vengeful schemes, your villain’s grin of glee
Turns sad and rueful, for you’ve come to see
How silly it all was, a fool’s mirage.
Since laughing at yourself is true release
From hurt and anger, be a fool for peace!
@cidermaid - Don't be sorry, if the poem doesn't work as a poem there's no consolation prize for "at least it fits the form."
I've tried to address each of your comments in the edit (above, and in the edited original post), including a prefixed half-foot to line 1 for conformity to meter. I've stuck to the modified Spenserian rhyme scheme (ABBA BCCB CDDC EE) at least for this edit despite its somewhat crossword-puzzle nature.
All your comments are much appreciated!
@milo - Thanks for the read and comment! I don't quite see fungibility there - the little plots aren't indistinguishable, the VPC is trying to decide among them for their particular virtues rather than seeing no difference, as between two measures of wheat. But the point's well taken, and I have (with regret - it does sound well) given up arbitrage. For some reason, "persiflage" popped into mind when considering this thread
.
Unsought, some cue for anger jostles you -
A slight, an insult makes your temper flare.
You growl and grumble, wrathful as a bear,
And plot revenge: she’ll pay, he’ll bleed, I’ll sue!
That monologue begins: no time to spare
For rest or reason. Plans for sabotage
And murder swirl: a bomb, poisoned potage,
Slashed tires, keyed paint, a windshield cracked for fair!
And then, amid this inner persiflage
Of vengeful schemes, your villain’s grin of glee
Turns sad and rueful, for you’ve come to see
How silly it all was, a fool’s mirage.
Since laughing at yourself is true release
From hurt and anger, be a fool for peace!
@cidermaid - Don't be sorry, if the poem doesn't work as a poem there's no consolation prize for "at least it fits the form."
I've tried to address each of your comments in the edit (above, and in the edited original post), including a prefixed half-foot to line 1 for conformity to meter. I've stuck to the modified Spenserian rhyme scheme (ABBA BCCB CDDC EE) at least for this edit despite its somewhat crossword-puzzle nature.
All your comments are much appreciated!
@milo - Thanks for the read and comment! I don't quite see fungibility there - the little plots aren't indistinguishable, the VPC is trying to decide among them for their particular virtues rather than seeing no difference, as between two measures of wheat. But the point's well taken, and I have (with regret - it does sound well) given up arbitrage. For some reason, "persiflage" popped into mind when considering this thread
.
Non-practicing atheist