The Scenic Route [Revised]

[Keith]

I enjoyed the placement of the reader in this sitting in the car on a gorgeous morning feeling good to be alive, I also enjoyed the detail and how we get to interact with the sunlight, very nice,  the turn at the end is unexpected and allows us to relate to having good intentions but doing nothing about it. I put some comments below for consideration. Best Keith

The sun sees through the trees,
sees through the glass,
sees through me. ............The sees in this stanza turned me off,  suggest streaks for L1 and drop it from L2 and L3

It saturates my window. nice image full and flooding through
It brightly warms my hand,........ the second use of it seems a bit odd could you sap it for and that would pick up the sound in hand.
as if in proposition.

My smile concedes like a girl.....the girl disturbs me  
that has just been asked to dance.... this feels a bit too long....My smile concedes like I, have been asked to dance. Your poem?
I can't restrain this smile
any more that I can restrain a sunset...... These two lines rescue the stanza for me and generate a nice image.

I don't try to.
I belong out there, in the trees
At the source.... I like how this open up a bigger idea
Eating sunshine and sipping moonlight....moonlight seems out of place but it does carry off the grandiose I expect from being at the source.
Filter free.....Nice touch keeps it raw

I roll down the window
so that there is nothing between us,..... do you need that ?
the sun and I,
and I want to shout "Stop!
Drop me off here".   This sets up that last stanza nicely  

But all I have are excuses.
And the sun may see,
but it does not hear...... I'm not that sure I fully get the end, it speaks to me of apathy towards being our true selves.

Hope some of this helps. Best Keith