12-02-2015, 03:14 PM
What you say can't be a valid prescription for anything can be, outside of this poem. In some poems such things can be made to be, but not in this poem. Because humor is cheap here; humor, though it be mere serious cleverness, doesn't cut it anymore in a world where commercials on television are actually funny. You can't just say these things, and be serious or ironic or both. It never comes back to bombshells; there's no reason whether or not to be an albatross at thirty. Even if you're writing figuratively, whiskey and soggy cigarettes are valid even if it seems you're supposed to legitimately burn out on them in reality. Someone can carry on this poem, keep speaking in your same voice forever. But too much of it can easily make sense in the same sense that everybody and their brother got tired of before you were motivated to voice your artistic valor. That's not to say you can't write. You are a good writer, you've made the poem good, but the poem is tired.