The Gift Of The Empty Hand (edit #3)

[ellajam]

I am still in the probationary new person period, and the FAQ clearly states that I shouldn't state for a poem "I like this", but heck with it.

This one won't count then.

I Like this.

Not sure if there are any changes that I could suggest;  perhaps after "Eliot" and the start of the next line "religious" there should be a sentence break, unless you meant for these writers to be akin to arcane religion, as it reads that seems to refer that way.  Maybe a semicolon would work.

Your poem is very touching and something that should be shared.

Hi, aschueler, welcome. It's fine to say you like something, you can even loooove it, we just ask that, in the workshops, members explain specifically why.

I've got an edit up, maybe you can let me know if you find it better or worse and why. Hopefully others will do the same, I'm not sure if it's changed enough to reach some of the posters it bored, but it's a start.