The Gift Of The Empty Hand (edit #3)

[ellajam]

I like this. There's a certain freedom to starting at zero.

The Gift of Loss

You left without your things. I find it tricky isolating a first line. Works well here.

Eighty years of saving
sorted, labeled, ready for reuse. A somewhat awkward sentence for me. Is it complete as is? I'm unsure about the continuity of tense. 
Bookshelves crammed:
Twain, Cayce, Eliot,
religious tomes in languages
the rest of us couldn't read;
favorite issues from the weekly deluge "deluge" nicely hints at the coming ocean
of magazines on every subject.
Closets stacked with picnic baskets nice hard c and k sounds in these 2 lines. Prickly sonics. 
and fixable vacuum cleaners,
Polaroid cameras in their striped boxes,
photos of you, us, them.

When the ocean took it all you came, grinning, next 2 lines trip me a little. A shuffling of commas might help.
reminding me "They're just things."
My arms are full of empty,
free to hold today. Tight finish

Mostly enjoyed this one. Nits are just nits.
Paul

Thanks, Tiger, I trip in the same places you do.

Eighty years of saving
sorted, labeled, ready for reuse.

When I reread this it makes sense to me, "saving" is tricky, I like the activeness of saving, collecting, but I may have to change it to collections or something like that. Thanks for noticing.

I don't think just a comma change will fix

When the ocean took it all you came, grinning,
reminding me "They're just things."

Maybe a change in line breaks, or something better than reminding.

When the ocean took it all you came, grinning;
I heard your voice: They're just things.

Maybe.

I so appreciate you taking the time to me to identify the weak spots and making me think about them.
I'm glad the rest worked for you, maybe just a few tweaks will do it.