Of Waste

[Badatpoetry101]

To be honest, this is pretty bad. The combination of the tortured meter and forced rhymes should be enough to scare most readers away, but the "list of hyperbolic abstractions" actually makes me cringe.  I would recommend you take a single image or concept and develop it properly and consistently all the way through the poem and avoid tweenie cliches like "hopes die", "bloodided earth", "scorched lands" etc, etc, etc.

There is not a single line or image here that I would recommend keeping, better to think of something fresh, new or original.  Also, avoud those painful inversions.

You might want this moved to novice until it is polished enough for "serious"

Yet it has been published twice by two separate poetry magazines in Europe. So there must have been something they liked.

The premise of this forum is that the author is not satisfied with their piece and is seeking advice to improve upon. When you decided to hit post you agreed to this premise. You should stop and think. The people critiquing have no vested interest in your failure. Maybe take it at face value and not to heart. I found myself agreeing with what they (milo?) were saying. It may have been blunt, but it is a valid opinion and they were not being unkind. As an aside I would like to known what magazines published your piece.