Eulogy to Mechanical Men

[Leanne]

The use of "arms" as your first word is a clever choice, straight away giving us the benefit of multiple meanings of the word. That opens the poem right up and invites the reader to actually read instead of being dictated to. I do think your poem would be improved by a regular meter or at least consistent stresses (accentual verse), but it's certainly not too big a detraction. There are occasionally overused lines, those with too much vagary and abstraction ("distraction from the pain") and some don't quite go together, like the notion of being impaled followed by a burn -- this doesn't really work unless it's a poem about barbecuing Also, "arms taken far too quick" sets my grammar alarm off, as does "bloated cycles broken steadfast".

I like the introduction of Occam's razor but I'm not convinced that its application is drawn clearly enough here. I do, however, really enjoy the bookends of "why we're born/ from they who love to hate" (except for the grammar!).

There is much to like here and I suspect that most of the issues will be ironed out on editing.