A Blimp Accident

[Badatpoetry101]

Helium, Hydrogen, in my brain, 1
Inflating, Growing, all the same, 2
No rightful light, to make my flight, 3
Duly humble, normal, sane, 4
Essence is, as all my know, 5
Not found in those who merely follow, 6
But keep in mind, not praise, not pride, 7
Unwholesome plots of art subside, 8
Running, Rumbling, in my head-- a 9
Great Explosion in my mind. 10

Hopefully I am decent at this. It looks like dukealien covered a lot of things. The best I can do I suppose is tell you my emotional response to the poem, to see if that reaction is what you wanted from your audience. And my general thoughts to see if I can follow your thought process or what you are feeling. It'll be a bit stream of concious post.

The equivocance of the blimp and your mind made gets lost or I lose it getting around the middle of it [A Blimp Accident].

Something is filling your mind, either unwanted thoughts or emotions. It makes me curious. No, "rightful light" (3) is either a signal of some kind is missing or it is dark and the lighting is wrong. I'm a bit unsure here, but relating back to your mind I would say their is some sort of decision and you are struggling with it. Maybe you're waiting for an epiphany of some sort?

I think I am going to stop here as I would not be qualified for the rest of the poem. I would suggest maybe more imagery, ummm add color to it. To indicate your mood or state of mind. The explosion in your mind meaning the blimp was either lost or destroyed or a break with the blimp itself.

I would be excited to see the next draft of this poem unless this is the final draft? I really like the first line very sing songy, but also natural. I thought it was a cute poem; although, I felt a bit indifferent to it.