Of Waste

[QDeathstar]

To be honest, this is pretty bad. The combination of the tortured meter and forced rhymes should be enough to scare most readers away, but the "list of hyperbolic abstractions" actually makes me cringe.  I would recommend you take a single image or concept and develop it properly and consistently all the way through the poem and avoid tweenie cliches like "hopes die", "bloodided earth", "scorched lands" etc, etc, etc.

There is not a single line or image here that I would recommend keeping, better to think of something fresh, new or original.  Also, avoud those painful inversions.

You might want this moved to novice until it is polished enough for "serious"

Yet it has been published twice by two separate poetry magazines in Europe. So there must have been something they liked.

Well, I mean, you're posting it here to be critiqued* here. So, what happened on Pluto isn't important. Once, when I was in highschool I got something in the mail telling me I was going to get published. Imagine my glee when all they wanted in return was $19.95.

Also, I'm frequently published in the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist.

As far as the poem goes... as much as it complains amount the motions of daily life it drowns in its own motions of stereotypical stylistic poetry. Like, what a six year old imagines poetry to be. It makes no new points of its own, does it? Or did I miss something. These are all idle complaints. Worse, they are timeless complaints. Its barely topical.

cons lie? well, balls roll, earth spins, people shit. All equally powerful images to place into your piece.

faithless pawns makes zero sense. pawns have the upmost faith in their leader, the king. Otherwise they wouldn't sacrifice themselves for him.

half of the poem is just a random list of words.... views slanted? what? a switch flipped, a moral skipped.

look, if it's just one moral that is skipped, why bother with it, I'm sure we can all live with just one of those forgotten about... it's the long tail of forgotten morals that is really the issue here, isn't it!

When you say carnivorous waste it makes me think you are some liberal vegetarian about to spout off about how turkeys are getting slaughter by the millions. But nay, it's just some general complaints about general problems in a generic poem that has been published in some generic magazine.