Of Waste

[milo]

Can you not taste,
The carnivorous waste?
 
Cars burning,
People yearning,
Freedoms granted,
On views slanted.
 
Cons lie,
Hope dies,
Perfect screams,
Endless schemes,
 
Those bullets ring,
These masses sing,
The marching on,
Of faithless pawns.
 
A switch flipped,
A moral skipped,
The ravished scenes,
And weakened dreams.
 
Bridges aflame,
Fingered blame,
Hearts weep,
Illusions leap.
 
For vice they cry,
For rebirth they die,
Deserted command,
Vindication stands.
 
Scorched lands,
Jilted hands.
Bloodied earth,
Twisted mirth,
 
Can you now taste,
Our carnivorous waste?

To be honest, this is pretty bad. The combination of the tortured meter and forced rhymes should be enough to scare most readers away, but the "list of hyperbolic abstractions" actually makes me cringe.  I would recommend you take a single image or concept and develop it properly and consistently all the way through the poem and avoid tweenie cliches like "hopes die", "bloodided earth", "scorched lands" etc, etc, etc.



There is not a single line or image here that I would recommend keeping, better to think of something fresh, new or original.  Also, avoud those painful inversions.

You might want this moved to novice until it is polished enough for "serious"