11-23-2015, 02:22 PM
The main problem I have with the poem is that it's another
"I'm good and she/he is bad" poem. (Though the toothpaste
metaphor does offer a bit of compensation.)
What I'd like to see is a bit more balance. Does "balance"
usually happen in real life? No. But this is writing, balance
is more interesting as it's dynamic. Portraying one party
as superior to the other is static, nothing is expected
to change, boring.
"I'm good and she/he is bad" poem. (Though the toothpaste
metaphor does offer a bit of compensation.)
What I'd like to see is a bit more balance. Does "balance"
usually happen in real life? No. But this is writing, balance
is more interesting as it's dynamic. Portraying one party
as superior to the other is static, nothing is expected
to change, boring.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions