False Bloom

False Bloom

Jezie

member

Posts: 33
Threads: 2
Joined: Aug 2015

11-22-2015, 03:13 PM

I agree with Ray, that a semicolon after remorse would benefit this poem and make the final line pop more.... Another thought is lines 2 and 4 should not be capitalized... grammatically speaking anyways Smile

thanks for the enjoyable read.

Do you have the patience to wait
Till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
Till the right action arises by itself?
~Lao tzu

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Messages In This Thread

False Bloom - by Moonstruck1 - 11-18-2015, 07:59 AM

RE: False Bloom - by dukealien - 11-18-2015, 11:20 PM

RE: False Bloom - by rayheinrich - 11-19-2015, 11:09 AM

RE: False Bloom - by Moonstruck1 - 11-21-2015, 08:52 PM

RE: False Bloom - by rayheinrich - 11-22-2015, 02:41 AM

RE: False Bloom - by Jezie - 11-22-2015, 03:13 PM

RE: False Bloom - by Plato - 11-23-2015, 10:02 AM

RE: False Bloom - by billy - 11-23-2015, 11:18 AM

RE: False Bloom - by Moonstruck1 - 11-23-2015, 12:39 PM

RE: False Bloom - by billy - 11-23-2015, 04:49 PM

RE: False Bloom - by rayheinrich - 11-23-2015, 01:37 PM

RE: False Bloom - by Merfyn Dafydd - 11-26-2015, 12:30 AM

RE: False Bloom - by RiverNotch - 11-27-2015, 03:17 PM

RE: False Bloom - by rayheinrich - 11-27-2015, 03:59 PM

RE: False Bloom - by RiverNotch - 11-27-2015, 04:04 PM

RE: False Bloom - by rayheinrich - 11-27-2015, 06:08 PM

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