Contained

[rayheinrich]

Contained

the thing about a hip-flask
is it says a lot about you—
much more than your shoes
 
you don’t have a meet-cute
with a young mother
in the park at 10am—
spring or fall
 
you go home and sleep through afternoon
dream you’re a king
and forget you were dreaming
 
if you wake
it will be uneasily
 
you will refill the flask
and still not know
it has grown dark
 
the parks are empty.

I do like this poem. I had an alcoholic aunt who always had two on her. One in her
purse and another herd by a garter under her dress.

I agree with Wjames: "spring or fall" doesn't add enough to keep it in.

I'd want to like "the parks are empty" as it's such a profound-sounding line.
But no, it just sounds too pretentious.
I'd get a line that matches the content of the rest of the poem, or I'd  end it with the first two lines:
"the thing about a hip-flask
is it says a lot about you—"

Doing a crude Google search, I find "hip flask" much more prevalent than "hipflask".
"Hip-flask" is almost nonexistent.

So I'd use "hip flask".

"Meet cute" is more prevalent than "meet-cute".
"Meet-cute" is always a noun.
"Meet cute" is used as both a noun and a verb/adverb combination (even though "meet cutely" is grammatically correct).

I think "meet cute" looks better.

Meet cute:

Most sources say it was originated by movie script writers around 1940.

From Wiki:
" In George Axelrod's play "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" (1955), a character explains:
"Dear boy, the beginning of a movie is childishly simple. The boy and girl meet. The only important
thing to remember is that—in a movie—the boy and the girl must meet in some cute way.
They cannot meet like normal people. If they meet at a cocktail party, one must spill their drink
on the other; if one hales a cab, the other must hale the same one so that they can get into an
argument over it. ... "