A Blimp Accident

[dukealien]

01 Helium, Hydrogen, in my brain,
02 Inflating, Growing, all the same,
03 No rightful light, to make my flight,
04 Duly humble, normal, sane,
05 Essence is, as all my know,
06 Not found in those who merely follow,
07 But keep in mind, not praise, not pride,
08 Unwholesome plots of art subside,
09 Running, Rumbling, in my head-- a
10 Great Explosion in my mind.

The overall spirit of the poem comes through, though many people may have forgotten the Great Runaway Blimp Chase of 2015 in a few months (an Author's Note might be appropriate to remind them when the time comes for publication).

In mild critique, the first issue I see is typographic - capitalization, punctuation, and resultant phrasing.  Capitalizing the first word on each line is standard, and fits in with the overall use of commas and rhyme.  Other capitalization (lines 1, 2, 9, 10) of words which are not proper nouns would then be for emphasis, which I don't see in lines 1 or 9.  Since there are no periods except at the end of line 10, I'd suggest that Hydrogen and Rumbling not be capitalized.   Probably not Growing or Explosion, either, but those could be justified by emphasis.

I would remove the mid-line comma in line 3 (maybe its ending comma, too), and replace commas with periods at the ends of lines 4 and 6.  Line 2 could end in a semicolon or a period.  The run-on feature - accelerating to the blow-up - is adequately portrayed in  lines 7-10, in my view.

Internal and external rhyme and near-rhyme (assonance):  You have lots of variety - rhymed couplets (lines 5-6 and 7-8), separated by two lines (1 and 4) and internal (line 3).  This may confuse some readers who expect a regular rhyme scheme, but it's all good when you're showing a mind about to blow up from inspiration.

Word choice:  I had trouble with "rightful" in line 2 and, especially, "my" in line 5.  "Rightful" is a nice rhyme with "light," but its connotation of something you have a right to be ("the rightful king") doesn't seem to fit here... perhaps, "No (something) right to make my flight."   "My" looks, at first and second glance, to be a typo:  "men" would make sense, or "may."  If it's meant to show a disordered vocabulary as the mind inflates, then stet.

On the first few readings, I tripped over line 6, getting "follow" to rhyme with "know" in line 5.  With practice, it works.

All those issues notwithstanding, it's quite interesting and   atmospheric.