~ Cold Walls ~

[John1865]

Although I cannot relate in my personal experience to theme of lost love, I do have an emotional reaction to the poem. Have you thought of using a rhyme scheme, particularly for your first and fourth stanza, for it seem as though, both in their lengths and their overall themes, area bit different. This is just a suggestion, and perhaps your composition wouldn't be aided by such a scheme. Now onto line by line.

1. These walls are cold,
   
2. Although it's spring.
   
3. Trapped in this winter,
   
4. Seeking some heat.
   
5. I once was warm beneath your sleeve,
   
6. Even if if was negative 20 degrees.
   
7. Now that fire has been hit by a storm
   
8. And that warmth is extinguished by the ice cold breeze.
   
9. Although it may seem like a terrible thing ,
   
10. I've found a solution to heal my agony.
    
11. I hide under my cold blanket, every single night,
    
12. To heal my burns from the scorching light.
    
13. It may hurt now,
    
14. It may hurt forever,
    
15. But as long as I've got this blanket,
    
16. I can lay here and think about us together.
    

1. What are "these walls"? What are they made of? Are they thick or are they thin? Yellow or Blue? How long have they been there? Of, you do not mean literal walls, but use it a metaphorical sense. Nonetheless, asking and answering these questions may allow to break from the relatively cliched line you have here.

6. Minor: "even if it was"

1-16: You are fond, I very much think, of the word it. I am not entirely sure why this is, but I would reckon that your fondness of it is due to the fact that "it" can be an easy concretion of some abstraction. However, in doing so, we become lost as to what "it" is, and the poem loses some of its punch.

Ultimately, I think you have got a good start going here. In writing of love, lost and unrequited, you have entered into the most crowded of the poetic fields (but one, I think, that produces some of the greatest and most gorgeous of compositions). With a rewrite and edit, you can certainly rid yourself of the cliches and the ambiguity, and make a more pronounced print on this poetic field!