In 8995 days

[the man with the spoon]

edit two







The prophet was a liar.
 
No friends.
Fired 4 times.
Two sexual partners.
One abortion.
Where was the revolution?
Where were the followers?
Full of drive    
but often failing
I deceived myself.
 
Converted two souls to the faith
Now though, an atheist.
An atheist without any friends,
without any admires,
and one abortion.


Edit one





No Resolve


No friends.
Two sexual partners.
One abortion.
Crammed of drive,
but empty of accomplishment.
I deceive myself,
but often failing.
The prophet foretold
leading a revolution,
great respect,
and numberless admirers.


Converted two souls to the faith.
Now though, an atheist.
An atheist without any friends
without any admirers
and one abortion.
.
No resolve.








Orginial





In 8995 days

No friends.
One abortion.
Two sexual partners.
But full of steadfast drive,
usually.
Desperately deceiving consciousness,
but often failing
in believing that prophecy. 
The prophet prophesied
leading a revolution,
a superabundance of respect,
many admirers,
but most importantly,
Greatness.
Converted two souls to the faith.
Now though, an atheist.
An atheist without any friends
without any admirers
and one abortion.

No resolve.

The prophecy is not true.

i like the version in 8995 days, i think however for starters you should change the title to just "8995", thats just my opinion. besides that, this is a really deep poem, i also think you should cut the line "in believe that prophecy" the next line kind of makes this one a bit redundant. instead of the word superabundance, maybe find another word: plethora, copious, innumerable, i just think the word superabundance doesn't fit well with the mood of the rest of the poem