11-06-2015, 01:06 PM
Yes this edit is much better. I would change "in believing that prophecy." to "to believe the prophecy."
Also, not really feeling "The prophet prophesied" and the word "superabundance."
Finally, I believe "The prophecy is not true." would sound better as "The prophecy is a lie."
Hope this helps!
In 8995 days
No friends.
One abortion.
Two sexual partners.
But full of steadfast drive,
usually.
Desperately deceiving consciousness,
but often failing
in believing that prophecy.
The prophet prophesied
leading a revolution,
a superabundance of respect,
many admirers,
but most importantly,
Greatness.
Converted two souls to the faith.
Now though, an atheist.
An atheist without any friends
without any admirers
and one abortion.
No resolve.
The prophecy is not true.
Also, not really feeling "The prophet prophesied" and the word "superabundance."
Finally, I believe "The prophecy is not true." would sound better as "The prophecy is a lie."
Hope this helps!
In 8995 days
No friends.
One abortion.
Two sexual partners.
But full of steadfast drive,
usually.
Desperately deceiving consciousness,
but often failing
in believing that prophecy.
The prophet prophesied
leading a revolution,
a superabundance of respect,
many admirers,
but most importantly,
Greatness.
Converted two souls to the faith.
Now though, an atheist.
An atheist without any friends
without any admirers
and one abortion.
No resolve.
The prophecy is not true.