11-06-2015, 09:46 AM
Thanks 43
I appreciate the critique! I'm unsure whether I'll move any further with it, at least for the time being, but its definitely something I'll hang on to.
I totally understand/agree with the pratfalls of the poem. On this one, I got super excited with the speed of its read and ran with it, but re-reading it a couple times after people's comments I see where it has its faults. Looking back, a good portion of the line breaks are unnecessary so that's definitely a place to start. Also I'm a comma-addict, I know haha. It's the balance between brevity and understanding I'll have to work at... but everyone's critiques are definitely pushing me in the right direction, so thanks guys
Anyways, glad you enjoyed it regardless
Thanks
Cousin
I appreciate the critique! I'm unsure whether I'll move any further with it, at least for the time being, but its definitely something I'll hang on to.
I totally understand/agree with the pratfalls of the poem. On this one, I got super excited with the speed of its read and ran with it, but re-reading it a couple times after people's comments I see where it has its faults. Looking back, a good portion of the line breaks are unnecessary so that's definitely a place to start. Also I'm a comma-addict, I know haha. It's the balance between brevity and understanding I'll have to work at... but everyone's critiques are definitely pushing me in the right direction, so thanks guys
Anyways, glad you enjoyed it regardless
Thanks
Cousin