Song of the Mortal God

[rayheinrich]

I wasn't thinking partisan thoughts as I wrote this; how could I, when where I live, all parties are of equal ineptitude? Nevertheless, on a level, I do consider this to talk of a Hobbesian ruler's fall. As for whether your ecstasies will affect your judgement, that's not for me to say.

I apologize for not getting back to your poem and for having had so much "cute" fun
with my comment when I should have been critiquing your poem.

While I really don't have the energy to do much of a critique, to do it justice, I do want to say that I
like the poem; and that, to me, it's a logical poem with creative allusions that reads unambiguously.

One thing I did have a problem with was keeping track of who was being addressed.
Especially that third line from the end: "There is nothing to him but fear".  

Recognizing Hobbes' famous term "mortal god" in the title (anyone not familiar can Google:
> Hobbes Thomas Leviathan  "mortal god" <  and find out) probably made the rest of the
poem more accessible to me. And while it seems the poem would make sense to someone
lacking that knowledge, I can't unlearn it to find that out for sure.

This is a poem that you probably put a lot of work into, or at least it reads that way to me.
I was moved by its heroic scale.

I especially liked:

" Like the fungus
flowering on a lion's body,
one's creation
becomes the canvas of another."

" This is Daniel's dream:
the lion's roar, the voice of kings. "

" I was leaning against the darkness
before this mess. "

" has a smile
painted on his face
even as he drowns. "

" after the kingdoms come the judgments,
the echoes, the reflections-- "

" There are no lions
in the new world. Only ants
scattered across avenues of ash, "

Much appreciated,
Ray