What I want

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey BW. Interesting bit of self-loathing. Unless you are in love with the repetition of "I want", I think you could crop a bunch of them and let the punctuation do the work, leaving a more compact piece. I will try to illustrate below, though not a specific suggestion.

I want to feel nothing but hurt in my heart,
I want to be nothing but desperate,
I want to be an actor in some tragic play,
and,
I want the world to watch as I forget the lines.

I want the bones in my body to break and crumble,
I want the teeth in my mouth to rot deep from the roots,
I want the worms in the soil to wriggle through my skin,
and,
I want the world to watch as I decompose.

-BW BRINE

I'm not sure if that's helpful, but I thought it was worth considering.
Paul