10-27-2015, 06:35 AM
Hmm.
I get the jist of the poem, which is good. But there are several questionable word choices, I think.
I do not get the chess reference, or the 7/8 reference, other that perhaps there are 8 pawns, but have no sense of its significance, and it makes even less sense taken with the third line, since it talks about being animalistic, whereas I see chess as being the exact opposite.
Also, inconsolable joy seems like an odd word choice, since I think inconsolable has a negative connotation and joy has a positive connotation
I get the jist of the poem, which is good. But there are several questionable word choices, I think.
I do not get the chess reference, or the 7/8 reference, other that perhaps there are 8 pawns, but have no sense of its significance, and it makes even less sense taken with the third line, since it talks about being animalistic, whereas I see chess as being the exact opposite.
Also, inconsolable joy seems like an odd word choice, since I think inconsolable has a negative connotation and joy has a positive connotation