10-21-2015, 12:28 PM
the parrot: be the parrot, don't let the parrot become you.
it can't help but not wonder how it'd feel to fly?
what exactly does the above line try to say?
Yet it could never fathom what's beyond its home.
yet isn't needed but the real question is...why would it want to. it's a bird. lines like the above add little to a poem.
and get rid of as many abstractions as you can [see milo's post]
this
to sing a song in piercing highs and resonant
lows.
this line is worth reading, the line break adds an extra dimension; aim as hi as this and braveyt chop away everything that doesn't come up to this benchmark.
it can't help but not wonder how it'd feel to fly?
what exactly does the above line try to say?
Yet it could never fathom what's beyond its home.
yet isn't needed but the real question is...why would it want to. it's a bird. lines like the above add little to a poem.
and get rid of as many abstractions as you can [see milo's post]
this
to sing a song in piercing highs and resonant
lows.
this line is worth reading, the line break adds an extra dimension; aim as hi as this and braveyt chop away everything that doesn't come up to this benchmark.