Parrots

[milo]

Parrots

Baby blue borders met with sunflower yellow
belies beauty in it's subtle chirp and vibrant
coat. Only useful to eyes of admiration;
lack of freedom more depressing than ignorance
to purpose. Equilibrium effervesces
to the point it's bubble bursts. Perhaps the reason
why it simply just sits and chirps, when it should fly.

Yet it could never fathom what's beyond its home.
Perhaps it wouldn't last if given the sweet chance
to roam. So there it sits, it's subtle chirp shall ring
this home. Unaware that it has the potential
to sing a song in piercing highs and resonant
lows. If it knew it were trapped it would stage escape
attempts every moment doors open to the cage.

It can't help but not wonder how it'd feel to fly.
It's mind so wrapped around feeding time like addicts
of the pipe, wherein it's mind settles for lesser
qualities of life. But sadly you can't blame it,
you can only hope that one day its mind untames
and truly sees life rather than that cooped up cage.
Forever trapped inside me, this parrot remains.

A couple notes:

1.  "Go in fear of abstraction"

abstractions are nouns that could not be painted on a canvas. "admiration, freedom, ignorance, purpose, equilibrium" - they ruin good poetry.

2.  "Use no superfluous word, no adjective, which does not reveal something."

every adjective or "modification" if referring to phrases should do more than describe a scene, in poetry it should point its way to the central metaphor.  If it is not doing double duty, consider removing it entirely.

Think of a phrase like "sweet chance to roam" - the word "sweet" lessens what you want to say immensely, trust your reader to feel the longing of the prisoner.

3.  "Don’t be “viewy”—leave that to the writers of pretty little philosophic essays. Don’t be descriptive; remember that the painter can describe a landscape much better than you can, and that he has to know a deal more about it. "

Kind of a continuation but even more.  Poet's don't paint landscapes with words just for pretty landscapes, they /must/ reveal something more.

* All suggestions courtesy of Ezra Pound:

here