In Come Free

[Mark A Becker]

Hey Notch-

Thanks for the eyes...

I do agree that "playing it straight" regarding the line breaks, per your suggestion, is probably a good idea.

The order of the lines that you suggest also makes sense, as the waking up would occur before the wondering about having this recurring dream. Small accuracies like that are important, and the rearrangement is necessary.

So it is done.

Thanks again,
... Mark

Neat stuff. Brief thought -- I'l probably get back to all this later -- I do think the line breaks of the last stanza are a bit awkward. I would just post the sentences as straight up lines, until the last, and perhaps rearrange the sentences, too. So:

"Why do I wake up sweating?
Why have I had this dream again?
Why have I never cried
since you died?"

But of course, I'm much less sure about the rearrangement.