10-13-2015, 11:28 PM
Each image, each main thought, is both so integrated and so separated from each other that there could be about twenty very different readings with this -- all good. The stand out for me is the cut between the middle line. Something really dark, really anti-love, about the idea of petals dropping / black eyes, then a really nice, lively contrast between that and a bouquet / of bumblebees. But again, the turn could be shifted, and the way the turn shifts between readings suggests something very, well, piercing about the nature of the reader. The one weakness here I feel is the title, or rather the presence of it: it feels like a definite advertisement one specific set of readings for the poem. But really, it's not much. Love this!