10-09-2015, 03:48 PM
Come to me my lovely.
Come let me fall into the grave with you;
Let me find peace in your being.
My heart is of distress;
My heart is torn by the rigors of life.
Blessed is the one who is pure in the light
Whose soul is sweeter than the most delicate of honey.
Hold fast from the one that lurks in the shadow;
Do not walk blindly to which that consumes you,
For there you will find her snare.
How can one hold fast when you are far gone?
How can one hold fast where it consumes my soul?
I tell you not, my heart cannot bide fully in both.
The slightest of entices and I run.
But to whom shall I run?
To you my lovely,
A beauty beyond the surface of the sea;
A complexity as deep as the ocean.
My soul leads me to your shore;
My heart finds me by your wayside.
But to you,
A beauty as blinding as gold shimmering from the sun.
A complexity intertwined with the metal of my own.
With you I find the passion I crave.
With you I find the life I left behind.
To feel trapped by your heart,
But free from your touch.
I walk where I choose freely,
But fear to venture beyond your path.
A view beautiful beyond the horizon.
A ravage of fire and wind consumes my soul.
Burning that which cannot be burned.
Chasing that which cannot be chased.
I fear the one who lurks in the shadow.
Yet I realize now it was I the entire time.
[/quote]
As a newbie to poetry myself, I can understand how making a poem in alll poetry sense but still keeping it new and interesting is challaging. I am learning in my college class that an instant turn off to poetry readers is an overworn cliche. Well, i feel like the poem was woven to the very fabric to clihes. I feel this poem is one that most public opinion of poetry is. Also I felt like the poem lacked geniune sinceirity. It felt overly lovey dovey to the point of where it makes it feel fabricated.
Come let me fall into the grave with you;
Let me find peace in your being.
My heart is of distress;
My heart is torn by the rigors of life.
Blessed is the one who is pure in the light
Whose soul is sweeter than the most delicate of honey.
Hold fast from the one that lurks in the shadow;
Do not walk blindly to which that consumes you,
For there you will find her snare.
How can one hold fast when you are far gone?
How can one hold fast where it consumes my soul?
I tell you not, my heart cannot bide fully in both.
The slightest of entices and I run.
But to whom shall I run?
To you my lovely,
A beauty beyond the surface of the sea;
A complexity as deep as the ocean.
My soul leads me to your shore;
My heart finds me by your wayside.
But to you,
A beauty as blinding as gold shimmering from the sun.
A complexity intertwined with the metal of my own.
With you I find the passion I crave.
With you I find the life I left behind.
To feel trapped by your heart,
But free from your touch.
I walk where I choose freely,
But fear to venture beyond your path.
A view beautiful beyond the horizon.
A ravage of fire and wind consumes my soul.
Burning that which cannot be burned.
Chasing that which cannot be chased.
I fear the one who lurks in the shadow.
Yet I realize now it was I the entire time.
[/quote]
As a newbie to poetry myself, I can understand how making a poem in alll poetry sense but still keeping it new and interesting is challaging. I am learning in my college class that an instant turn off to poetry readers is an overworn cliche. Well, i feel like the poem was woven to the very fabric to clihes. I feel this poem is one that most public opinion of poetry is. Also I felt like the poem lacked geniune sinceirity. It felt overly lovey dovey to the point of where it makes it feel fabricated.