[split] 3-14-15 'Ku or what's a ku?

[Tiger the Lion]

I will attempt to explain my reasoning, though I may be wrong on one or more points, I'm quite happy to hear why.
Do I have a traditional Haiku here?
Certainly not. What do I have?
Do I have a seasonal word or concept? - I think so. "first thaw" I don't think this is an obscure kigo. 

Do I have a cutting word, an "aha" moment, a Kireji ? - This is where, in my edit, I may have broken from tradition. Perhaps I have been too subtle believing that the joyous "mood" of spring's arrival at first thaw is quickly shown to be premature and there is still litter or shall we say the "baggage" of winter left to be dealt with. So no, there is no cutting word, but I believe the "turn" is implied. As I said, I could be quite wrong.

As far as syllables go, I haven't written a 5-7-5 haiku for a long time. I feel it is incorrect and further to that I think
2-4-2 is much closer in spirit. If I were to adhere to the misconception that English haiku should be in 5-7-5 I may have written this something like...

it is spring's first thaw
beneath the blanket reveals
cigarettes, dog shit

ouch, that's terrible. How can I edit this?

it is spring's first thaw
beneath the blanket reveals
cigarette butts
dog shit

...back where we started

I think for me the most important aspect in haiku is have I painted a seasonal image that a reader can understand, and have I done it with the best word economy I can?

Anyway guys, that's my thought process with this one. Feel free to dismantle my arguments and educate me further. This is why I come to class. 

Paul

You response is why I come to class.

Thaw
butts
shit.

Getting better all the time
Best,
tectak

Disagree, You've removed the adjective from each line.   The nouns now have no context. (in fact all 3 of them could be verbs now) You're left with 3 unrelated words. Less is not always more.
Best,
Paul