10-07-2015, 08:12 PM
Defining life
01 This self-absorbed
02 and dispossessed
03 communion of
04 me
05 ga
06 lo
07 ma
08 ni
09 acs
10 with cameras poised
11 like bayonets
12 to placidly
13 impale themselves
14 Do so, but do so nonetheless,
15 and thus die happy in the end.
Yeah, breaking up "megalomaniacs" doesn't seem that useful and
the word itself is too much of a pronouncement. The content should
convey this without the need for this conclusion.
Title - too literal -- use the essence of 2, 3, 12, and 13 to create a title
1 unnecessary
2-3 love the cognitive dissonance
4-9 unnecessary (see above)
10-11 a bit too cliched, but should be rephrased and kept as a lead-in to 12-13
12-13 wonderful, this and 2-3 are the heart of the poem
14 illogical and unnecessary
15 no need for this summation 12-13 have already done its work
01 This self-absorbed
02 and dispossessed
03 communion of
04 me
05 ga
06 lo
07 ma
08 ni
09 acs
10 with cameras poised
11 like bayonets
12 to placidly
13 impale themselves
14 Do so, but do so nonetheless,
15 and thus die happy in the end.
Yeah, breaking up "megalomaniacs" doesn't seem that useful and
the word itself is too much of a pronouncement. The content should
convey this without the need for this conclusion.
Title - too literal -- use the essence of 2, 3, 12, and 13 to create a title
1 unnecessary
2-3 love the cognitive dissonance
4-9 unnecessary (see above)
10-11 a bit too cliched, but should be rephrased and kept as a lead-in to 12-13
12-13 wonderful, this and 2-3 are the heart of the poem
14 illogical and unnecessary
15 no need for this summation 12-13 have already done its work
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions