10-07-2015, 07:36 PM
I like the content, I agree with your stance on society. Seems like the introduction of cell phone cameras and social media have brought arrogance to a whole new level. I'm not sure about the bold font and spelling out the word you choose to focus this poem around. I just don't see any contribution in terms of power, effect, Or even aesthetic appeal. If you're looking for an intricate and creative way to get the word across, I might suggest going acrostic? This of course would require an entire rewrite not to mention a 13 line poem versus your 9 (not including the bold font) but it would definitely be interesting to see imo and might aim more towards the aesthetics you're going for. Thanks for the piece, it was interesting nonetheless!