Thief Amongst Us

[Phat Monkey]

Ok so this is just my first opinions after going through your poem. Basically I feel like you were putting a lot of emphasis on making sure everything rhymed, and although rhyming is a cool thing to do in poetry I feel as though your piece doesn't flow organically or you give up using the perfect word for a good word that rhymes, which can really hurt the piece. I'd say focus more on some nonrhythmic poetry and see where that takes you and then come back and try a few more rhythmic ones.

Overall it was enjoyable piece, but for me it just didn't flow eloquently.