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Fairy-tales
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10-02-2015, 04:41 PM
I like the way the poem is structured and builds towards the ending. The rhyme scheme is interesting but does affect some of the poem's wording which you should be careful of and try to rework so that it doesn't sound so forced- particularly lines 7-8. I feel that line 8 has a slightly awkward sound to it and might need some tweaking. Make sure you fix the typo in line 3 to read play rather than pay.
Nice work, keep it up |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Fairy-tales - by Misanthrope - 08-22-2015, 07:32 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by peacejazzspirit - 08-23-2015, 01:12 AM
RE: Fairy-tales - by Misanthrope - 08-23-2015, 09:24 AM
RE: Fairy-tales - by peacejazzspirit - 08-23-2015, 11:52 AM
RE: Fairy-tales - by Mark A Becker - 08-25-2015, 12:49 AM
RE: Fairy-tales - by Princess Consuela - 08-31-2015, 05:22 AM
RE: Fairy-tales - by billy - 08-31-2015, 02:09 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by Pious Baloney - 08-31-2015, 06:04 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by QDeathstar - 09-01-2015, 12:44 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by thewatson - 09-03-2015, 01:04 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by Stateofmind - 10-01-2015, 02:39 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by hannah.h - 10-02-2015, 04:41 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by elviaje26 - 10-03-2015, 05:50 PM
RE: Fairy-tales - by justlikeyou - 10-07-2015, 05:17 AM
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