10-01-2015, 12:04 PM
I'd appreciate some feedback on this poem, especially the meter and punctuation.
A Night in Arles, September 1888
Charles’ Wain over the Rhone
Stars of the north now in the south shone
The gaslights gleaming on the rivers edge
Witnessed the sky and the river wed
By the artist with his brush and palette
He stands on the bank and officiates
Webby waves of blue, gold and gray
Cracked on canvas in thick strokes of paint
The constellation whitens the night
A somber couple stand in its light
The ships’ gongs whanging in your ear
The taste of salt is in the air
A Night in Arles, September 1888
Charles’ Wain over the Rhone
Stars of the north now in the south shone
The gaslights gleaming on the rivers edge
Witnessed the sky and the river wed
By the artist with his brush and palette
He stands on the bank and officiates
Webby waves of blue, gold and gray
Cracked on canvas in thick strokes of paint
The constellation whitens the night
A somber couple stand in its light
The ships’ gongs whanging in your ear
The taste of salt is in the air