A Silent Prayer - First Draft

[John]

Hello all,
Please help me improve my writing, your suggestions, critic comments will help me shape these scribblings. Thanks a lot...

A Silent Prayer

Each morning the rising sun utters a silent prayer, I read this as a metaphor for the aspirations of humanity. If it was your intention, it worked.
as its rays serene and white,
take the world in a loving embrace.

One more dawn, one more beginning,
one more chance to set things right,
to lead the soul to Divine Grace. One would have to know what soul, and Divine Grace meant.

Why are the souls so morphed and masked?
What is the cause of humanity’s plight?
Why so deep in worldly stupor is every face? In English, we would probably say, Why is every face so deep in worldly stupor? to avoid the grammatical inversion.

Each morning the light beckons
but darkness in the hearts glows bright I like this line: brightness in the sense that darkness is filling the senses. What a dichotomy!
blinds the eyes and leads the race.

Hi, Neena.

Haven't been on the forum long, so missed this from so long ago. Glad it got resurrected. Just a few comments above if they are of any help.

So often what may be termed religiously-themed poems pre-suppose that the reader knows what you're talking about. Address these concepts as to a child (e.g. treat me like a child when I learn French) and the reader will be on your side. It's not patronising, so don't worry. This poem is pertinent today as never before.

You've also kept the rhyme scheme  throughout, which is admirable. The form and structure has remained firm.

Overall you've a simple but rather profound poem. Good stuff.