Song of the Buoyant Spirits (Rev. #3)

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Song of the Buoyant Spirits (Rev. #3)

peacejazzspirit Offline

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#13

09-25-2015, 11:39 AM

(09-24-2015, 12:57 PM)Jezie Wrote: Hey pjs, everyone has covered what I would suggest as well... I believe these changes would allow the poem to improve greatly... One stickler for me was line 2... Noise of booming laughter... Is laughter a noise or is it an explosion of emotion? Getting better and better each go

Thanks Jezie, I am glad to hear it's improving! Good point, laughter as a noise is not as poetic and accurate as an explosion of emotion... I'll keep working on it.

Free verse poetry and jazz are like brother and sister.

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Messages In This Thread

Song of the Buoyant Spirits (Rev. #3) - by peacejazzspirit - 08-23-2015, 12:23 PM

RE: On a Gloomy Day - by Quixilated - 08-24-2015, 11:23 AM

RE: On a Gloomy Day - by peacejazzspirit - 08-24-2015, 11:48 AM

RE: To An Underappreciated Gift (Rev. 1 for On a Gloomy Day) - by peacejazzspirit - 09-04-2015, 11:30 AM

RE: To An Underappreciated Gift (Rev. 1 for On a Gloomy Day) - by RiverNotch - 09-05-2015, 10:41 PM

RE: To An Underappreciated Gift (Rev. 1 for On a Gloomy Day) - by peacejazzspirit - 09-06-2015, 12:46 AM

RE: To An Underappreciated Gift (Rev. 1 for On a Gloomy Day) - by RiverNotch - 09-06-2015, 04:57 PM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by peacejazzspirit - 09-07-2015, 05:56 AM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by AndyB - 09-12-2015, 06:44 AM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by peacejazzspirit - 09-12-2015, 07:23 AM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by Gretel - 09-18-2015, 05:17 AM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by Jezie - 09-24-2015, 12:57 PM

RE: Blessing in Disguise (Rev. #2) - by peacejazzspirit - 09-25-2015, 11:39 AM

RE: Song of the Buoyant Spirits (Rev. #3) - by peacejazzspirit - 10-03-2015, 03:08 AM

RE: Song of the Buoyant Spirits (Rev. #3) - by RiverNotch - 10-08-2015, 05:50 PM

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