The Traveler

[ZacharyTwedell]

Revised:

A nimble breeze o’er rugged seas
blows fore and back from wave to shore
and finds her way to lick his nose
with whiff of sanctuaries far

A tiny flame grows ‘neath his chest
its embers stoked with every breath
His belly aches with fire alight
while siren songs foretell his death

Reflected light forms beacon bright
a ghostly guide through ocean haze
The weary drifter soldiers on
He paddles long but only stays

With splintered oar and torpid row
through murky blend of day and eve
the traveler consents to fate
and musters up a final heave






Original:

A nimble breeze o’er rugged seas
Blows fore and back from wave to shore
And finds her way to lick his nose
With whiffs of purer lands afar



A tiny flame grows ‘neath his chest
Its embers stoked with every breath
His belly aches with fire alight
An ocean's whisper tells his death



With splintered oar and torpid row
Through murky blend of day and eve
The traveler consents to fate
And musters up a final heave

After about the twelve time, I've hit reply. For though the length, my adventure seemed more continous that. I'm overwhelmed, from the vocabulary to the believability. Then of course the excellent send off. Stupendous, I tip my pen to you.