09-23-2015, 11:47 AM
I have looked at this poem more than once & walked away. Do you think you know why I walked away? Because it ticks me off. If there is something of interest here it might bark but refuses to bite. Being cryptic takes years to learn how to approach and many more years to learn it's use - e.g. "I put up confusing isotypes which make it seem like I am dreaming of the question mark " I know of isotypes but what is this "question mark" you've been dreaming and to what question does it belong to?
I'm not even going near your "inurned ashes of historic hotels" - it stands without reference to anything else in the poem - worse, it gave me three lousy choices - one, to feel stupid, two, to feel confused, three, my time taken advantage of - was that what you were aiming for? Well, bullseye.
"My indignant answers go unquestioned for ages" - and here we are again - what answers to what questions? Don't look at me, you brought it up. Don't itemize your readers, they are not a to do list.
"The inlier rocks of the thrust faults in Montana
I identify myself to you"
- forget the rocks of the thrust faults, identify yourself to us.
"Distraction unnerves my identity" - don't know about your identity but it certainly does your writing no favors -
ellajam said she was "obviously confused" by several points in your poem - I think she was trying to be polite - she was not confused, the poem, however, is-
perhaps you can see to that.
I'm not even going near your "inurned ashes of historic hotels" - it stands without reference to anything else in the poem - worse, it gave me three lousy choices - one, to feel stupid, two, to feel confused, three, my time taken advantage of - was that what you were aiming for? Well, bullseye.
"My indignant answers go unquestioned for ages" - and here we are again - what answers to what questions? Don't look at me, you brought it up. Don't itemize your readers, they are not a to do list.
"The inlier rocks of the thrust faults in Montana
I identify myself to you"
- forget the rocks of the thrust faults, identify yourself to us.
"Distraction unnerves my identity" - don't know about your identity but it certainly does your writing no favors -
ellajam said she was "obviously confused" by several points in your poem - I think she was trying to be polite - she was not confused, the poem, however, is-
perhaps you can see to that.