The world breaks everyone

[tomoffing]

Hello Muse,

I've jumped right in below.

The world breaks everyone

I walked through the woods
To St.James infirmary simple effective opening. I don't have a clear picture yet, but it's specific enough that I'm confident it will develop.
And spent the night
With my cool and clean baby the "and" is unnecessary. Immediately I'm unsure on "cool" baby, unless there is a very morbid theme coming. Knowing now said morbid theme is coming, I'm more uncomfortable with "clean". In either case, I think you can find stronger adjectives for this line that suit the remainder of the piece.
Till the worms started feeding on the roots. 
Is Till suitable here? Did you stay until the worms started feeding? Is that important. Your next lines tell me you didn't stay, and so I'm confused. I would recommend a period at baby, followed by a standalone line, "The worms started feeding on the roots". This is more impactful. I'd also recommend replacing "started" with "began", as sonically it flows better to my ear.
 
Outside,
        The trees waved their black roots I like the image of tree branches as roots in darkness, but the repetition from the previous line spoils it somewhat.
        Mourned their miscarried fruits This is powerful as I'm now fully emotionally involved. Well done.
        Choked six feet deep
        In the rich dirt. "rich" Doesn't add anything for me. I would remove.
 
We could see it all
Naked in the infirmary bed I know you're in the infirmary already, so an alternative adjective or removal would be preferable to me.
And we smiled and stuck
Our roots
Would not break 
We would not break
We would not-
Break.  

Further comment on the preceding 8 lines overall. The absence of any punctuation makes this almost incomprehensible. To borrow a tip from Tectak, try writing the lines in prose format, which yields;
We could see it all Naked in the infirmary bed And we smiled and stuck Our roots Would not break We would not break We would not- Break. 
As I said, pretty much incomprehensible. 
That said, I do appreciate the repetition and acceleration that picks up in the second 4 lines. 
A slight restructuring at 1 or 2 well chosen points will improve this immensely. I won't advise where though, as it very much depends on your intent.


And we were 
Very brave
And very strong
And very gentle
And the worms fed on the roots
And then the fruits.
With the exception of the "Ands" these closing 6 lines are excellent. You expand the incantation type element begun with "We would not break".

I would suggest;
And we were 

Very brave

Very strong

Very gentle

And the worms fed on the roots
then the fruits.

My apologies if I've rewritten excessively in places here, but i found this really engrossing. 

Thank you for the evocative read, i'll keep an eye out for any edits.
t