An Empty Vessle, or a Broken Sea

[just mercedes]

Hi Lloyd - Your thread title has a typo, which is a bit off-putting.I hate starting in on spelling, but it's hard to ignore, right at the entrance.

An Empty Vessel, or Broken Sea?

How was I to know,
of all the faces
your's would be misplaced should be 'yours'
in a terror show, I think you need a ? instead of a ,
How could I had thought,
of walking away
Is the same as letting go, these three lines are confusing because of the mixture of tenses
Wasn't how I was taught,
How tough the folds,
become now that again, tenses are mixed
The distance isn't as distant,
When I knew I was bold,
How comparable,
the shores of lands
Harbors once grand
And plentiful,
How their ports dry one season,
And became a dream
of man's greater comprise, tenses
And broken comprehenions, comprehensions?
But if their was one thing, there
They would say, tenses
And we knew it,
We could have saved the day.
Now the tide is of their illusion,
And so the ship's, confusing
And so the man.
And we, too.

I think it would be much easier to read your poem if you used capital letters ONLY at the start of a new sentence or phrase, and used some stanza breaks to give your reader a pause between images. You also use , when the sense of the words means it should be . However, because of your arbitrary use of capital letters, it's hard to be sure of that.

You have me something to think about, though, with the contrast between what was once grand and plentiful, and the dry season. I think you could work that metaphor further, if you revise your poem. Thanks for the read.

I'm a bit confused about who 'your face' belongs to, and who the 'we' and 'they' are, too.