09-12-2015, 03:26 AM
Hi, Kax,
I've spent a couple of hours on this, because 'serious workshopping' deserves more than general feedback, and we're here to help each other and learn. And it's two hours of my life I'll never get back. Poems in serious workshopping ought to pre-suppose at least a half-competent author, and I should know my place... But in this case, No.
This is so far removed from anything serious, that I concur with billy and suggest you put it in novice for general comment.
There's so much awry with it, I'm not going to start. But thanks for the opportunity to read it. Poems aren't easy.
I've spent a couple of hours on this, because 'serious workshopping' deserves more than general feedback, and we're here to help each other and learn. And it's two hours of my life I'll never get back. Poems in serious workshopping ought to pre-suppose at least a half-competent author, and I should know my place... But in this case, No.
This is so far removed from anything serious, that I concur with billy and suggest you put it in novice for general comment.
There's so much awry with it, I'm not going to start. But thanks for the opportunity to read it. Poems aren't easy.
A poet who can't make the language sing doesn't start. Hence the shortage of real poems amongst the global planktonic field of duds. - Clive James.