09-10-2015, 11:43 PM
Hey t.lion- since this is MISC ...
Say
sooner or later
it will be tonight
when I finally say moved "say" up and broke the line after it
goodnight struck "have to"
you should know I'd break it here
by now
(I love you) struck "how", put (I love you) in parens to indicate (unspoken)
struck the whole last part: find another way to circle back to "say"
but how to
find a way to...
my suggested circle back ending. I took great liberty here, and I wouldn't usually do that (except in MISC)... The only problem with the circle back to "say" is that "say" already appears in the poem, in line 3 (or 4)...
... Mark
Say
sooner or later
it will be tonight
when I finally say moved "say" up and broke the line after it
goodnight struck "have to"
you should know I'd break it here
by now
(I love you) struck "how", put (I love you) in parens to indicate (unspoken)
struck the whole last part: find another way to circle back to "say"
but how to
find a way to...
my suggested circle back ending. I took great liberty here, and I wouldn't usually do that (except in MISC)... The only problem with the circle back to "say" is that "say" already appears in the poem, in line 3 (or 4)...
... Mark